Children are people too. That being said, it’s important to recognize that their self-esteem can take hits just like an adult’s can. In order to bring up a confident child, you must be proactive.
Here are five ways to encourage your child to be confident:
1. Praise your child for accomplishments.
For example, if they cut a piece of paper straight, you can praise them for this and boost their image of themselves as competent. One mother praised her daughter for cutting a straight line in some fabric and she was buoyed by this compliment.
2. Communicate with clear expectations, at their level, so the child can understand.
For example, don’t say, “Clean up your room.” Instead, you should say something like. “Pick up all the toys and put them in the toybox and then put all books on the shelves in ABC order.” When you are vague, and the child fails, it is both of your failure. Do better and get better results. Also, you will get a child who is happy that they did what was asked according to the instructions.
3. Don’t allow others to blast your child.
Let people know that you treat and talk to your child in a particular way and that you expect the same of them. This means that you have to practice the right behaviors with your child. For example, using a firm tone without yelling when correcting your child.
4. Teach your child to speak up for themselves in suitable ways.
For instance, one five year old was in a room with older kids during a Christmas party. She left her desk and some of her cookies had been taken off her plate when she returned. Even though the other kids were older, the mother taught the girl how to address the group.
Before long she said to the other children, “Hey, who took my cookies? Everyone got 6, including me. I went to the trashcan and came back and I had only three.” She even had her child look across the room and make eye contact without glaring at anyone. One student admitted to being guilty and offered to bring the cookies back. Another woman did some similar teachable moments instruction when another child sneezed right in her son’s face. “Hey, it’s cold and flu season. Use your inner elbow so you don’t spread any germs,” she told her child to say.
Along the same line, don’t let your child see you being railroaded, talked to any kind of way or treated like a doormat. Make certain to defend yourself so your child sees a model of self-esteem preservation in action.
5. Put their work on display.
While the refrigerator is a good place to showcase their work, you can also share it with others. If it gets announced, this can be a powerful boost to your child’s self image (confidence). To take this further, if it is a speech or poem, let them recite it to visitors, certain people who phone you or through Skype to grandparents, etc. Praise from several corners can be powerful.