Tweens can often be a challenge. They’re growing up so fast and they’re in that difficult stage between childhood and teenage-hood. Their whole world is being turned upside down: school, life priorities, puberty. As the hormonal change brought about by puberty starts to take hold, your child is going to go through a lot, and we’re not just talking mood swings. Positive parenting your tween is the best way to let them know they are loved and supported no matter what.
Acknowledge their independence
At this age, your child is going to start realising that they aren’t just a child anymore and with that comes the craving for independence. Many parents make the mistake of trying to control and restrict the levels of independence their child has, and this can foster a rebellious streak. That’s not to say you need to give them whatever they want, but positive parenting your tween means finding a common middle ground where they feel like they’re being allowed some independence thus allowing you to remain firmly in control.
Rethink discipline
You’re never going to win a power struggle with your child. Enforcing stricter punishments is only going to make them better liars, so it’s a difficult balance to strike. Essentially, avoiding discipline by creating a strong bond with your child is the ideal scenario, so try to get their input on the matter.
Try not to take it personally
Positive parenting your tween can often be a lot harder than it sounds. During this phase, they’re brains are going through some extensive rewiring which is going to have a whole host of consequences, including extremely volatile behaviour. When your tween is shouting and screaming at you, sometimes the best method is to take a deep breath and calmly demand respect, but this will only work if you respect them in return.
Be supportive
No matter what’s going on in their lives, being supportive is the best way to positive parent your tween. During the tween years, your child is going to be experimenting and exploring their identity. This can include outrageous tastes in music, strange clothing and a long line of deep, almost obsessive, passions. The best thing you can do in this scenario is be supportive. Criticism will harbour negativity, and as long as they’re appropriately covered up and not breaking the law, there’s really nothing to worry about.
Balance your reactions
There’s a fine balance between not overreacting and being deliberately ignorant. On the one hand, positive parenting your tween is all about maintaining a cool composure that reinforces the boundaries set in place. However, it’s easy for parents to add fuel to the fire when it comes to interfering in the drama of their child’s life, but realistically you just need to step back and let them sort it out themselves. On the other hand, monitoring what’s happening and knowing when it’s appropriate to step in is a particular skill that you’re going to need to master to help nurture a healthy relationship of trust.
Resources:
http://www.ahaparenting.com/Ages-stages/tweens/tweens-preteens
https://childmind.org/article/10-tips-for-parenting-your-pre-teen/
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